Overachieving and perfectionism

I'm at my goal weight and maintaining pretty easily. I'm still working out regularly (5 days a week). I'm counting calories but allowing a few more indulgences. I'm trying to figure out how many calories I should be eating now. The last thing I want to do is screw up my metabolism by eating too little and slowing it so I have to eat too little. Most of the calculators tell me I should be eating somewhere between 2000 and 2400 calories to maintain at my activity level. One even said 2700. I'm eating more in the 1400-1800 range. I started doing more ChaLEAN Extreme so I know I can eat more without gaining weight and I'm gaining definition again. I shifted my workout schedule to just CLX and Turbo Kick for cardio. I need lots of practice to be ready to teach.

So what's the problem? It's been a huge adjustment seeing the scale stay the same or bounce around a bit, even if it is in the range I'm aiming for (140 to 147, in case you're curious). And I had a bit less strength training for a while too, which coupled with the scale not going down made me feel like I was getting soft and losing definition. To put it bluntly, I started feeling fat. Yup. I'm in the normal BMI range. My body fat percentage is below 20% and in the same range as some Olympic athletes (and I'm not talking sumo wrestlers). I'm in good cardiovascular shape. My current jean size is firmly in the single digits and the smallest it's been in years. I'm not fat. But I FEEL fat. My brain likes to play tricks on me. The person I see in the mirror is not the person other people see. It's not good. And I'm a perfectionistic overachiever. I want progress, despite the fact that this is a good size, weight, body fat percentage for me. My perfectionism and overachieving self is what has pushed me to lose weight, get fit, get my TK cert, finish my masters, etc. It's both good and bad. Right now I'm having a hard time with the bad side of it. I'm trying to shift my focus and I have away from the scale. But wanting my body fat to drop lower? Probably not a good idea. I'm afraid I'm venturing into dangerous waters. Will I ever think I'm thin enough, fit enough, just enough? So how do you break the overachieving perfectionist habit? Sometimes I just wish I could see the me that Steve sees. Or the me that my girls see. I really can be my own worst enemy.

Have you been here? How did you deal with it?