Harder the second time?

Losing weight after Mia wasn't easy, but it was simple. It's part of the reason I like calorie counting. Once I figured out my calorie range, it was pretty simple math. Track the calories coming in, exercise to burn calories. If there's a deficit from the amount you need to maintain your currnet weight, you lose weight. Drink plenty of water to help flush out extra sodium, which helps avoid big fluctuations from water weight. That's it. I did that last time and the weight came off steadily, usually about 2 lbs a week. It was simple, which made actually doing it easier. I knew if I followed the formula, the weight would come off.

This time it's been a bit more difficult. Part of the issue is figuring out the correct calorie range. At first I think I had it too low, which freaked out my body and caused it to hold on to all the calories I ate. So I increased my calories. But then I also increased my exercise, making my calories too low again. So I increased them again. About the same time I think my hormones leveled out (the evidence: my cycle started, my hair is falling out, my skin cleared up), which helped. Suddenly the scale is moving down (yay!). I'm not sure if it's slower this time or if I'm more impatient because I know how good I can look and feel and I realize how far I have left to get there. After Amelia, every lb lost was a victory, especially once I got below 166 (my pre-pregnancy weight with Ella). Every inch lost was better than I had looked since before I got pregnant with Ella. In other words, I started looking better than I had hoped was possible after kids. This time I know how good I can look and I'm frustrated with how long it takes to get there.

I also have to say that I'm scared the third time was too much for my body. What if it doesn't snap back as well this time? What if that extra half inch my belly stretched was it's breaking point and now my stomach will always be saggy? Really, other than eating healthy and exercising, there's not a lot I can do short of surgery. Guess I shouldn't worry about it, huh? But I do have this fear that even how I looked last summer is out of reach now. Hopefully this is an irrational belief. But man, pregnancy wreaks havoc on my body and messes with my body image even worse. At least I know being fit and strong helps my body image and my body. :) This post has been a good reminder for me to focus on the fitness and health aspects, including mental health, rather than being thin. See? This blog has been helpful to me already. Hope I can help someone else too!