Two weeks before TF. Size 16 and 185 lbs.
I'm on the far right.
I'm on the far right.
Week 39 of TF. Size 13 and about 160.
Those pants are getting loose and I'm down to 156.6 now.
Those pants are getting loose and I'm down to 156.6 now.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
TurboFire Results and More
Been a few weeks, huh? I broke below 160. I'm at 156.6. I'm only 11 lbs from pre-pregnancy - yay! I'm 5 weeks away from Nora being 9 months old. So can I lose the last 11 lbs in 5 weeks over Christmas? I don't know, but I think I can get below 150, which I'll count as a success.
I finished TurboFire a week ago. The final counts were 27.8 lbs lost and 20.75 inches gone. Here's the breakdown:
I finished TurboFire a week ago. The final counts were 27.8 lbs lost and 20.75 inches gone. Here's the breakdown:
Inches Lost
Arms: 1.0 and 1.25
Chest: 3.75
Waist: 6.25
Hips: 4.0
Thighs: 2.0 and 2.5
I'm planning on doing the 5 day inferno plan next week, which should help me reach my goal of pre-pregnancy weight by 9 months postpartum. This past week I did some of my old Turbo Jam WOs. I love them and I still burned a decent number of calories. But it felt like I was working out in slow motion. I also did Turbo Sculpt but the problem is my weights jump from 4 lbs to 9 lbs. The first day I used the 4 lb weights and wasn't sore at all the next day. So the second day I alternated between the 4 and 9 lbers (my triceps can't quite handle 9 lbs). Surprisingly, I could still carry Nora the next day. I did have some muscle soreness then. I think I need to buy some 6 or 7 lb dumbbells for that WO. I did Ab Jam too. It felt easy when I was doing it, but my obliques were pretty sore the next day. But yeah, I'm doing the inferno plan of TF this week. I'm hoping to see more great results from that.
I posted my results on FB too and got a ton of responses and compliments. I loved every minute of that. But one thing I kept getting was "if you can do, so can I!" From some people, this was fine. They were looking at it like, "if she has 3 small kids and can work out regularly, I can do it too." That I love. I love that I'm inspiring people to better themselves. But other people it felt more along the lines of "if she can do TurboFire, so can I." That bugged me a little. Most people see me as a sweet, quiet, laid-back girl. This is true. But I'm can also be intense and I'm incredibly stubborn and determined. If I decide I'm going to do something, I do it, I do it as well as I possibly can, and I finish it on time, as scheduled. People tend not to recognize that part about me. In other words, since I'm sweet, they don't think I'd do a super intense WO. So they think TF is butterflies and rainbows or something and think they can do it too. Not so much. But I gotta say, there are a few people that I think will respect me and my determination a lot more once they drop the money on TF and can't handle it. I'm looking forward to that a bit. I work hard for my results. It takes commitment and determination. I get a bit frustrated when people don't recognize that and write off my hard work as good genes or my young age.
That being said, I calculated it and in the last 4 years, since Ella was born, I have lost 166 lbs, which is more than I currently weigh. To be fair, some of that came off easily after babies were born. So I also added up the amount I worked to lose: 105 lbs. See now why I get mad when people write it off? You don't lose that amount of weight by accident or just changing a thing here or there. It's consistently working out, consistently staying in your calorie range, consistently making good decisions and smart substitutions. Okay, stepping off my soapbox now. :)
I'm now about one size above where I'd like to be. That's exciting stuff. Maybe I'll get to a smaller size this time. I'm not sure. I just know I'm thrilled with how far I've come. And it's so much fun to pull small clothes out of my closet, try them on, and they fit! That makes me feel better than any bowl of ice cream, piece of cheesecake, or bowl of pasta ever has. :)
Friday, November 19, 2010
4 years of being a mom
My oldest daughter is 4 today. At the point I gave birth to her, I weighed 216 lbs. I have not weighed that much again, although I got close at the end of my pregnancy with my second daughter (213 that time, 205 with the third). The scale is up a little right now, but I realized that at 161.4, I'm only up .6 lbs from my lowest so far. I think once I take a rest day it'll start going down again. Tomorrow is my rest day this week.
Last week I was sick. First Ella and Mia got sick Wednesday night. Thursday I didn't feel great but I pushed through my workout. Friday was worse and Steve worked from home. He made me take a needed rest day to recover. I needed it but every time I started to feel okay, I'd think "oh, I can work out after all." If he hadn't been home to stop me, I probably would have. That's good, right? That I'm that motivated and self-disciplined? Well, yes and no. It's usually a good thing that I don't let myself take an unscheduled rest day. I stay on track that way. But it's not good when I resist taking a rest day when I'm sick and need it.
I talk about the line between self-disciplined healthy living and disordered eating habits (work out habits too) a lot. I know it's a fine line. I just read in a magazine this week that internal traits of perfectionism, self-discipline, and hyperconsciousness of body image can contribute to the development of an eating disorder. Um, that's me. That's how I managed to take care of my girls, finish my masters on time with a high GPA, and lost 70 lbs all at once. I push myself and I push *hard.* I know I have a screwy body image. Steve knows this and we talk about it. I'm honest with him about things and he keeps me in check, which is why I say he made me take Friday off. He knows I would have pushed myself through it.
There are a lot of reasons I want to be healthy. Some of them are vain and some are for other people. I want to be thin and like what I see in the mirror. I want to be admired. I also want to be around for Steve and the girls, and I don't want the girls to learn twisted eating patterns from me. I recently read a blog post that basically said "forget about you and mom time. Do it for your kids." For that woman, doing it for herself wasn't enough. She needed the motivation of doing it for her kids' benefit. I hated that post. My kids reap the benefits of it and that's a part of my motivation. I'm happier and more patient when I've worked out. If I'm at a healthy weight, I have more energy to play with them and I'm not preoccupied with how fat I think I look. But I need that break from being a mom (well, I frequently have to referee while exercising, but still) to do something for ME. Most of my day is consumed with doing things for my kids. I need to do something that's solely for me. I haven't worn make up in over a week. I rarely blow dry my hair. Half the time I don't usually bother to shower unless I've worked out or we have company coming over. As a mom, I frequently feel like my needs and wants come last. My fitness is the one area where I've really made myself a priority. So yes, my girls benefit from it, but that is for ME.
My body image was a bit messed up before I had kids, but it took a HUGE hit when I became a mom 4 years ago. I was at my heaviest when I got pregnant and then I gained 50 lbs. I didn't recognize myself. I cried a lot. Things were stretched and stretch-marked and sagged and I was miserable in my new body. Some women embrace their new shape and "battle scars." I couldn't. Which is probably why I've spent so much time and energy losing the weight each time. Between Mia and Nora I got down to 143 and held steady around 145 for a good 6-7 months before I got pregnant. To my surprise, I was pretty happy with my body. I still had the loose belly skin and saggy boobs, but I could accept it. I'm getting there again. I want to be happy with my body and I want my girls to learn from me that healthy and toned is the best kind of physical beauty. Confidence and body acceptance, not thinness, is what makes them attractive. Ella and I have come a long ways in the last 4 years. Happy birthday sweet girl.
Last week I was sick. First Ella and Mia got sick Wednesday night. Thursday I didn't feel great but I pushed through my workout. Friday was worse and Steve worked from home. He made me take a needed rest day to recover. I needed it but every time I started to feel okay, I'd think "oh, I can work out after all." If he hadn't been home to stop me, I probably would have. That's good, right? That I'm that motivated and self-disciplined? Well, yes and no. It's usually a good thing that I don't let myself take an unscheduled rest day. I stay on track that way. But it's not good when I resist taking a rest day when I'm sick and need it.
I talk about the line between self-disciplined healthy living and disordered eating habits (work out habits too) a lot. I know it's a fine line. I just read in a magazine this week that internal traits of perfectionism, self-discipline, and hyperconsciousness of body image can contribute to the development of an eating disorder. Um, that's me. That's how I managed to take care of my girls, finish my masters on time with a high GPA, and lost 70 lbs all at once. I push myself and I push *hard.* I know I have a screwy body image. Steve knows this and we talk about it. I'm honest with him about things and he keeps me in check, which is why I say he made me take Friday off. He knows I would have pushed myself through it.
There are a lot of reasons I want to be healthy. Some of them are vain and some are for other people. I want to be thin and like what I see in the mirror. I want to be admired. I also want to be around for Steve and the girls, and I don't want the girls to learn twisted eating patterns from me. I recently read a blog post that basically said "forget about you and mom time. Do it for your kids." For that woman, doing it for herself wasn't enough. She needed the motivation of doing it for her kids' benefit. I hated that post. My kids reap the benefits of it and that's a part of my motivation. I'm happier and more patient when I've worked out. If I'm at a healthy weight, I have more energy to play with them and I'm not preoccupied with how fat I think I look. But I need that break from being a mom (well, I frequently have to referee while exercising, but still) to do something for ME. Most of my day is consumed with doing things for my kids. I need to do something that's solely for me. I haven't worn make up in over a week. I rarely blow dry my hair. Half the time I don't usually bother to shower unless I've worked out or we have company coming over. As a mom, I frequently feel like my needs and wants come last. My fitness is the one area where I've really made myself a priority. So yes, my girls benefit from it, but that is for ME.
My body image was a bit messed up before I had kids, but it took a HUGE hit when I became a mom 4 years ago. I was at my heaviest when I got pregnant and then I gained 50 lbs. I didn't recognize myself. I cried a lot. Things were stretched and stretch-marked and sagged and I was miserable in my new body. Some women embrace their new shape and "battle scars." I couldn't. Which is probably why I've spent so much time and energy losing the weight each time. Between Mia and Nora I got down to 143 and held steady around 145 for a good 6-7 months before I got pregnant. To my surprise, I was pretty happy with my body. I still had the loose belly skin and saggy boobs, but I could accept it. I'm getting there again. I want to be happy with my body and I want my girls to learn from me that healthy and toned is the best kind of physical beauty. Confidence and body acceptance, not thinness, is what makes them attractive. Ella and I have come a long ways in the last 4 years. Happy birthday sweet girl.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Water retention and picking a healthy LTG
Ugh. The scale was so great and was down to 162.6. Awesome, I thought. I can make it to the 150's in the next week or so. Uh, nope. My stupid period started. It's been all jacked up since Nora was born. And I definitely retain water around my period now. So it showed up and the scale went back up to 165. Three days later and it's down to 163.8. Okay, period, you came and proved I'm not pregnant (thankfully, my fear that I'm somehow pregnant has gone down a bit each month). You can leave now.
But I've stayed on track. The scale *should* cooperate and go back down in the next few days, and I'm hoping to see a new low by weigh-in on Monday. I'm still hoping to see a number below 150 by January 9 (that's when Nora turns 9 mos. You know, 9 mos on, 9 mos off?). We shall see. I'm trying not to get too hung up on the exact dates, because either way, the weight will come off. I'm too stubborn to let it stay.
I think I've touched on this before, but I'm very stubborn and very hard on myself. That can be good (finishing my masters degree on time while having two kids 17 mos apart? No problem!) but it can be bad too. I keep comparing my weight loss this time to last time. The timeline is about the same. But I'm not. For one, I have three kids now. I'm two years older. I have different stressors this time. I'm even doing a different workout this time. I know it's not fair to compare myself to someone else. Comparing the current me to the two-years-ago me is comparing two different people too. Whether it takes more or less time to lose the weight this time isn't important. The fact that I'm losing it is.
And a happy surprise! The weather is getting really cold. I pulled out my winter coats, knowing they'd probably still be too small. I tried on my Columbia coat. It fit! Even over a hoodie! Awesome! A few days later, I pulled out an unforgiving leather coat. It fits too! And so does my dress coat! I had hoped they would fit by January but didn't think they'd fit me this soon. I love happy surprises. :) OH, and a pair of jeans I had to buy a few weeks ago because the only jeans that fit had a growing hole in the crotch? They're too big! :D I also got a few compliments about my smaller size. Two separate people noticed I'm getting more of an hourglass shape again. I didn't have that when I lost the weight after Mia. Another person told me I'm looking thin and I better not lose too much more or I'll disappear. That's a beautiful thing to hear, especially when you know you're still technically 20 lbs overweight (seriously, BMI doesn't fit my family). That also tells me that 145 is a good goal. I don't want to lose too much and look sickly.
I post on an awesome weight loss board. A lot of the women there picked their LTG based on the midway point of the healthy range for BMI. For me, that would be 126. Eek! I weighed that for about 2 seconds in high school, when I was dehydrated, had very little muscle, and hadn't been able to keep food down for 3 days. I'm almost 40 lbs more than that right now and already getting the "don't disappear" comments. For a lot of people, that midway point would be healthy and a good goal. Not for me. I'd have to lose almost all my body fat and a bit of muscle to get that low. Even if I made it that low, I don't think I could ever maintain it, but I think I'd drive myself insane trying. I know myself well enough to know that won't work for my body type and it'd be an eating disorder waiting to happen. If I see a lower number, I want to keep seeing that number, or a lower one. I want to be able to maintain a healthy weight, not see a very low number and spend the rest of my life preoccupied with seeing that number again.
Part of picking a healthy goal is knowing yourself. Knowing your body type and knowing your mental limits. I'm strong mentally, but I also know I'm a perfectionist and that can turn into a bad obsession. Right now, it's driving me NUTS that I'm higher than 162.6. I have to keep reminding myself that weight fluctuations are normal and expected, especially during my period. But I still obsess about it and pray the scale will be back down or even lower tomorrow. Which is why my LTG is 145, not 126. I know I can reach 145 and maintain there. I might be able to reach 126, but I'm not willing to risk it.
But I've stayed on track. The scale *should* cooperate and go back down in the next few days, and I'm hoping to see a new low by weigh-in on Monday. I'm still hoping to see a number below 150 by January 9 (that's when Nora turns 9 mos. You know, 9 mos on, 9 mos off?). We shall see. I'm trying not to get too hung up on the exact dates, because either way, the weight will come off. I'm too stubborn to let it stay.
I think I've touched on this before, but I'm very stubborn and very hard on myself. That can be good (finishing my masters degree on time while having two kids 17 mos apart? No problem!) but it can be bad too. I keep comparing my weight loss this time to last time. The timeline is about the same. But I'm not. For one, I have three kids now. I'm two years older. I have different stressors this time. I'm even doing a different workout this time. I know it's not fair to compare myself to someone else. Comparing the current me to the two-years-ago me is comparing two different people too. Whether it takes more or less time to lose the weight this time isn't important. The fact that I'm losing it is.
And a happy surprise! The weather is getting really cold. I pulled out my winter coats, knowing they'd probably still be too small. I tried on my Columbia coat. It fit! Even over a hoodie! Awesome! A few days later, I pulled out an unforgiving leather coat. It fits too! And so does my dress coat! I had hoped they would fit by January but didn't think they'd fit me this soon. I love happy surprises. :) OH, and a pair of jeans I had to buy a few weeks ago because the only jeans that fit had a growing hole in the crotch? They're too big! :D I also got a few compliments about my smaller size. Two separate people noticed I'm getting more of an hourglass shape again. I didn't have that when I lost the weight after Mia. Another person told me I'm looking thin and I better not lose too much more or I'll disappear. That's a beautiful thing to hear, especially when you know you're still technically 20 lbs overweight (seriously, BMI doesn't fit my family). That also tells me that 145 is a good goal. I don't want to lose too much and look sickly.
I post on an awesome weight loss board. A lot of the women there picked their LTG based on the midway point of the healthy range for BMI. For me, that would be 126. Eek! I weighed that for about 2 seconds in high school, when I was dehydrated, had very little muscle, and hadn't been able to keep food down for 3 days. I'm almost 40 lbs more than that right now and already getting the "don't disappear" comments. For a lot of people, that midway point would be healthy and a good goal. Not for me. I'd have to lose almost all my body fat and a bit of muscle to get that low. Even if I made it that low, I don't think I could ever maintain it, but I think I'd drive myself insane trying. I know myself well enough to know that won't work for my body type and it'd be an eating disorder waiting to happen. If I see a lower number, I want to keep seeing that number, or a lower one. I want to be able to maintain a healthy weight, not see a very low number and spend the rest of my life preoccupied with seeing that number again.
Part of picking a healthy goal is knowing yourself. Knowing your body type and knowing your mental limits. I'm strong mentally, but I also know I'm a perfectionist and that can turn into a bad obsession. Right now, it's driving me NUTS that I'm higher than 162.6. I have to keep reminding myself that weight fluctuations are normal and expected, especially during my period. But I still obsess about it and pray the scale will be back down or even lower tomorrow. Which is why my LTG is 145, not 126. I know I can reach 145 and maintain there. I might be able to reach 126, but I'm not willing to risk it.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Day 117 and 162.6
That's right, day 117. Only 23 more days until I've completed the full 20 weeks of TurboFire. I seem to be shrinking. :) I'm firmly in a 13 right now. Since I started out in an 18, I'm happy with that. Progress is progress. I'm pretty firm now. And no wonder! HIIT workouts and strength training and tons of cardio. I have muscles! I feel like if I do another round or two of TF, there will be no jiggle left.
The scale has been moving steadily downward again since I started this month of HIIT workouts. It's like the fat is melting off my body. It's nuts and so awesome. I'm down to 162.6. At this rate, I could make my long term goal by Nora's 9 month birthday after all. I have 9 weeks and 17.6 lbs to go. Considering I've lost 3 lbs in the last week, that's totally doable. It's been pretty easy to stay on track lately since I've consistently seen good results. I have some Halloween candy that I've been rationing out. I went to a Halloween party and tried to make smart decisions about food while indulging a bit. It worked. I was up a bit the next day, but back down the next. That's how I did it two years ago after Mia too. Stay on track during the week, keep working out, drink tons of water. At parties, load up on fruits and veggies and have small amounts of your favorite treats. It's worked like a charm for me. I went into the holidays planning on maintaining but managed to lose a little. The plan is the same this year and given the current trend, I think it should work again. I can totally stay on track. I got this. :)
The scale has been moving steadily downward again since I started this month of HIIT workouts. It's like the fat is melting off my body. It's nuts and so awesome. I'm down to 162.6. At this rate, I could make my long term goal by Nora's 9 month birthday after all. I have 9 weeks and 17.6 lbs to go. Considering I've lost 3 lbs in the last week, that's totally doable. It's been pretty easy to stay on track lately since I've consistently seen good results. I have some Halloween candy that I've been rationing out. I went to a Halloween party and tried to make smart decisions about food while indulging a bit. It worked. I was up a bit the next day, but back down the next. That's how I did it two years ago after Mia too. Stay on track during the week, keep working out, drink tons of water. At parties, load up on fruits and veggies and have small amounts of your favorite treats. It's worked like a charm for me. I went into the holidays planning on maintaining but managed to lose a little. The plan is the same this year and given the current trend, I think it should work again. I can totally stay on track. I got this. :)
Sunday, October 24, 2010
I hate cameras
Sometimes I start to feel good about myself and how I look. And then I see a picture and cringe. Welcome to my Sunday.
Monday, October 18, 2010
The bounce-back
After 5 consecutive days of the scale staying the same or moving down each day, I knew it was coming. This morning, it did. I was back up a pound. The bounce-back.
It's quite possible I made up that word. Or someone else did and I stole it. But it's when suddenly the scale bounces back up instead of staying the same or moving down. A lot of times it comes the same week as your period, after eating salty food, or just overeating. We did have Wendy's for lunch yesterday, but I thought I'd miss the salt-induced water retention by sticking to a plain baked potato and a large chili. I didn't even have a diet pop. I stayed on track all weekend and did all my workouts. Maybe chili has more salt in it than I thought.
Days like this it's easy to get discouraged. Why isn't the scale cooperating? But a little reasoning and it's all okay again. Weight fluctuations are normal. It's most likely water weight and will disappear in a day or two. Overall, the scale is moving down. After taking 4 months to lose 10 lbs, I've lost 12 lbs in the last 2 months. That's great and one day of the scale bouncing back is okay. I even expected this. So I'll stay on track today, drink my water, do my workout, and see what the scale says tomorrow. Odds are, it will be back down. I am doing all I can to control my weight and it's paying off. I can't control normal fluctuations and that's okay. It only becomes a problem if I let it throw me off-track and it turns into a gain rather than bounce-back.
So I'll finish my coffee (seriously, I'm addicted to that and cardio) and my healthy lunch and then work out. Fire 60 today, which is quickly becoming a favorite. There are two finales at the end and I LOVE the second one. The combination of the moves and the music gets me pumped back up and I end that long cardio session feeling more energized than I was at the beginning. It's amazing and addicting. Find a work out you love and stick with it! It helps you avoid the bounce-back. ;)
It's quite possible I made up that word. Or someone else did and I stole it. But it's when suddenly the scale bounces back up instead of staying the same or moving down. A lot of times it comes the same week as your period, after eating salty food, or just overeating. We did have Wendy's for lunch yesterday, but I thought I'd miss the salt-induced water retention by sticking to a plain baked potato and a large chili. I didn't even have a diet pop. I stayed on track all weekend and did all my workouts. Maybe chili has more salt in it than I thought.
Days like this it's easy to get discouraged. Why isn't the scale cooperating? But a little reasoning and it's all okay again. Weight fluctuations are normal. It's most likely water weight and will disappear in a day or two. Overall, the scale is moving down. After taking 4 months to lose 10 lbs, I've lost 12 lbs in the last 2 months. That's great and one day of the scale bouncing back is okay. I even expected this. So I'll stay on track today, drink my water, do my workout, and see what the scale says tomorrow. Odds are, it will be back down. I am doing all I can to control my weight and it's paying off. I can't control normal fluctuations and that's okay. It only becomes a problem if I let it throw me off-track and it turns into a gain rather than bounce-back.
So I'll finish my coffee (seriously, I'm addicted to that and cardio) and my healthy lunch and then work out. Fire 60 today, which is quickly becoming a favorite. There are two finales at the end and I LOVE the second one. The combination of the moves and the music gets me pumped back up and I end that long cardio session feeling more energized than I was at the beginning. It's amazing and addicting. Find a work out you love and stick with it! It helps you avoid the bounce-back. ;)
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